I get into the office this morning and make a cup of coffee. Today is going to be a good day I tell myself as I sit down at my desk, ready for everything the world has to throw at me.

Firstly my ISP doesn't work and its over an hour before were online - and this is Broadband! I download 367 emails of which 4 are for me and only 2 of them I really want. I have now wasted an hour and half of the day and got nowhere.

To make matters worse my laptop seizes up halfway through trying to open a PDF file. This is a top of the range computer and is causing me frustration big time.

Finally I can get started but Joe from the office next door stops by. He is down and depressed over his recent divorce and wants to know if I would like to go for lunch with him. Hell. Thats the last thing I want to do - but what do I do? I agree. What a sucker.

I get through lunch but end up with a headache from Joe wining on about his personal problems. Whats even worse is that it was a forgone conclusion that I would pay for the meal.

Never mind. Onwards and forwards. Whatever else could possibly go wrong. The afternoon should be pretty easy as the company director is doing a presentation so I pass time finishing off some work before I'm ready to go to the meeting. Finally its time to go. I set off down the corridor towards the meeting room.

It kind of happened in slow motion. The secretary in a rush running down the corridor towards me,carrying some goodies for the forthcoming meeting. About 3 metres away what does she do? She trips. You know when your in an accident and things happen in slow motion.... Well, the jam and cream cake catches my right shoulder, the coffee literally goes all over the walls and showers me on the rebound. I catch a jam donut in my groin before the secretary careers into me and bowls me over. I hear a loud ripping noise as I hit the ground with her sprawled on top of me. When I look up there are two people staring down on us. One is my boss.

I get cleaned up and finally arrive at the meeting. As I walk to my place two of the women present giggle just as I feel the wind up my ass. Yeah. I've ripped my pants in the fall.

The rest of the day is equally as much of a bummer. The Sony projector packs up, the presentation ends early. It is raining cats and dogs when I leave the office and I get soaked. When I arrive home my wife says 'How was your day?'


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From the website of www.birminghamuk.com